Regaining Consciousness

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“If  Your Dream’s Don’t Scare you, They’re Not Big Enough” that is what is written on a plaque I have had for well over two years now. It spoke to me but I couldn’t really tell you why. What are my dreams? What did I truly want in this life? I have been asking the universe for answers. I knew the truth lay within me and not in my outward world. I expected these answers, these moments of clarity to come when I was meditating or on a wild Shamanic Journey but no mine came when I found myself lying sprawled in pain on the kitchen floor, regaining consciousness.

Oh it’s nothing dramatic, I tripped over my dark dog, in a dark hallway, hit the ground hard, screamed the place down and then passed out. I wasn’t out long apparently and thankfully nothing was broken. But what it did do was shift my world. See I also drive a taxi. It’s easy and simple and I really enjoy it but it isn’t my dream. I have kind of been hiding behind it, not stepping up into my true power and hiding behind my many fears. Fear of really being who I came here to be, my true soul’s mission, fear of where my money will come from if I take a step into the unknown. But now I can’t drive, that avenue is closed to me for the time being. So I could have blamed the dog, or more common, My-self, beaten myself up over how stupid I had been to not put the light on. But I chose a different route, a route that is becoming more familiar to me. I chose to see the gift. It’s not always easy I can tell you in the face of adversity to see the gifts, see it as a place to learn and grow, be grateful and look deeper.

It struck me that I “Regained Consciousness” because that is exactly what my dream is, to help people “Regain Consciousness”. I’ve been doing it now for almost 20 years, digging into this spiritual life, reading books, taking courses, meditation, opening up, talking, teaching but I have been hiding behind labels, “Reiki Mater”,  “Yoga Teacher”, “Shaman” without putting my true self first, without making My-Self truly visible. See these are the tools I use but they are not me. When I use these labels it is hard for my clients to find me, they have to look through the myriad of others doing similar things, so it is time for me  to step up and step out.

“If  Your Dream’s Don’t Scare you, They’re Not Big Enough” well telling my truth does scare me but here it is, I’m a Star Seed. I’m here to wake up the world from its’ slumber. I’m here to talk about 5th Dimensional Consciousness, about other worlds, Angels, and synchronicities. I’m here to spark peoples knowledge, the truth within their being, that they came here to ascend, to live a life of a higher vibration, one of love and light.  I am not here to be mundane, or ordinary, I’m a square peg and I most definitely don’t fit in a round hole. I am loud, boisterous, bright, talkative, energetic and have spent so much of my life trying to turn myself down but those are my gifts. If I am loud it is so I can be heard, if I am  bright it is so I can be seen. A friend once said to me “Suzanne you’re energy is almost too much for one person” that kind of hurt for a while until I saw that it wasn’t meant as a criticism but rather as a push to get me out there, to shine on a bigger scale. So here I am coming out of the spiritual closet as it were. I can type my dreams into reality. I can see the gift in my recent fall and my limited mobility. I can see that it has made me focus on what I truly want and how to get it. Facing my dreams, facing my fear. So I am turning that energy of fear into excitement, using it to spur me on to create my truth, to allow My-Self to truly step out and be seen. My dream is big and it does scare me but it is my dream and by God I am going to make it a reality.

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